ScarletMels in Black & White

A week ago today, my mum’s brother – my uncle and godfather – died from a brief but intense battle with his body. He was 60. The abruptness of his passing was both a blessing and a curse. Obviously, it was a blessing that he didn’t have a dragged out half-life with lowered function. And of course a curse, because there was suddenly a crater in the lives of his family and friends. In a family where one loses a spouse more frequently to divorce than to death, this was uncharted territory.

I won’t pretend to understand what my aunt and cousins are going through, but I think about them all the time. There has been an incredible outpouring of sympathy and support from all over the world, which hopefully can fill that crater a little.

He was immensely popular, that man. A wiry fella with a hardened look about him, rough around the edges. Not the prettiest flower in the garden, that’s for certain. His voice always sounded a bit hoarse, sort of gravelly yet smooth, as if the gravel were ground really fine. He cussed more eloquently than a stevedore, smoked hard, drank hard, partied hard, lived hard. I don’t know if he ever consciously said to himself, “Life is short, might as well live it to the fullest,” or if he was simply a social butterfly. Either way, he was a lesson and a reminder that life is short. A bunch of his buddies and relatives knew this, and so put together a “big lime” in his memory. Drinks, laughter, rowdiness, stories, a real “GT spote”. What a brilliant way to say goodbye!

Regret and resentment are the two things I fear most when it’s my turn to kick it. One of my favourite quotes is from Deepak Chopra: “Holding onto resentment is like holding your breath – you suffocate.” Aside from GT sportin’ and new age gurus, there is a song I think about through all this. It’s country, and a bit cheesy, but appropriate anyway: Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying“.

I recently discovered another quote, by Nelson Mandela as told to Mister Deepak, which is actually closer to how my uncle might put it: “Having resentment against someone is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy.” He would have undoubtedly put his own twist on it by throwing in a few poetic expletives.

He is most certainly carrying on the lime where he is now, enjoying every second of the afterlife. Here’s to you, man!

With Halloween just behind us, I thought it an appropriate time to talk about the love affair Thais have (and many Asians, in fact) with capturing themselves on film. Casual self-portrait photos, or selfies, are insanely popular here. While the North American and European trend seems to be of young insensitive folks making a duck face at inappropriate venues and occasions, like funerals, Ground Zero, and Holocaust memorials, the Thais prefer their selfies to be more touristy, novelty, and kitschy. Case in point: At the end of the summer we visited Hua Hin, a tourist town two hours outside Bangkok. There, we checked out a themed outdoor mall. The façades and décor were “old cowboy meets 1920s meets 1950s”. The shop fronts were dark plank wood to give a saloon feel. There were a couple old cars on display in the walkways, and oldies music piping throughout. A mish-mash of eras, really. It was fun and hokey, and an ideal venue to memorialize oneself. There are two kinds of selfies: the traditional selfie, in which the photographer and subject are the same person; and the assisted selfie, in which someone takes your picture for you. In the latter case, you are expected to return the favour, so that everyone in the group has a photographic memento of the event. This is also the more interesting variety of selfie to observe. Take a look:

Taken in Pranburi, at the beachside hotel where we overnighted.

Posing for a shot

Be ONE with the car!

Smile, girls!

Look at the camera and say, “Groovy!”

Work it, baby, work it!

Halloween is not as big an event here, as in the U.S. and Canada, but it is celebrated in some expat communities. Many international schools celebrate Halloween with costumes, decorations, activities, and parties. The martial arts studio where Keeran takes jiu-jitsu also hosted a party on Halloween. That was understandable, as the studio owner is Canadian, and many of the students are expat kids. One of my favourite selfies (of the assisted variety, of course) was the one taken in my favourite cosmetics shop, the Beauty Buffet, located inside the sky train station nearest to us. It’s tiny, cheap-and-sweet, and the girls are so enthusiastic and cute and complimentary, they can cheer up even the grumpiest customer. I popped in there with Keeran after the martial arts studio’s Halloween party, for some nail polish remover. The girls were over the moon to see him all dressed up, and fawned over him good and proper. Tib, the shop manager, could not resist: here was an opportunity to pose with a real live Halloween-costumed foreign boy. It was touristy, novelty, and kitschy: jackpot! What more can a selfie aficionado ask for? Here it is, the jackpot selfie:

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