A week ago today, my mum’s brother – my uncle and godfather – died from a brief but intense battle with his body. He was 60. The abruptness of his passing was both a blessing and a curse. Obviously, it was a blessing that he didn’t have a dragged out half-life with lowered function. And of course a curse, because there was suddenly a crater in the lives of his family and friends. In a family where one loses a spouse more frequently to divorce than to death, this was uncharted territory.

I won’t pretend to understand what my aunt and cousins are going through, but I think about them all the time. There has been an incredible outpouring of sympathy and support from all over the world, which hopefully can fill that crater a little.

He was immensely popular, that man. A wiry fella with a hardened look about him, rough around the edges. Not the prettiest flower in the garden, that’s for certain. His voice always sounded a bit hoarse, sort of gravelly yet smooth, as if the gravel were ground really fine. He cussed more eloquently than a stevedore, smoked hard, drank hard, partied hard, lived hard. I don’t know if he ever consciously said to himself, “Life is short, might as well live it to the fullest,” or if he was simply a social butterfly. Either way, he was a lesson and a reminder that life is short. A bunch of his buddies and relatives knew this, and so put together a “big lime” in his memory. Drinks, laughter, rowdiness, stories, a real “GT spote”. What a brilliant way to say goodbye!

Regret and resentment are the two things I fear most when it’s my turn to kick it. One of my favourite quotes is from Deepak Chopra: “Holding onto resentment is like holding your breath – you suffocate.” Aside from GT sportin’ and new age gurus, there is a song I think about through all this. It’s country, and a bit cheesy, but appropriate anyway: Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying“.

I recently discovered another quote, by Nelson Mandela as told to Mister Deepak, which is actually closer to how my uncle might put it: “Having resentment against someone is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy.” He would have undoubtedly put his own twist on it by throwing in a few poetic expletives.

He is most certainly carrying on the lime where he is now, enjoying every second of the afterlife. Here’s to you, man!